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The Four Pillars of Worth





African American Mother with Daughter
Family Having Fun


Ribbon of Worth looks at self-esteem as a vital pillar of self-worth. Self-esteem is based in acceptance of self with a healthy amount of loving myself too. If we focus only on liking ourselves - it can become what drives us and puts our need for praise in overdrive. So, loving ourselves within the context of acceptance of the whole self is important.

We can accept that we are made up of opposing beliefs such as: being afraid and brave, feeling love and hate, feeling weak and strong, having both a solid and fluid body, being still and yet moving.  These are things that can be accepted as true. We can understand the application of each of these opposite possibilities in the right place and time to start to like ourselves more.


Hands holding plant 


Thought Patterns that Erode Self-esteem:

Modified from Self-esteem: Steps to feel better about yourself. MayoClinic.org

All-or-nothing thinking. You see something as all bad or wrong with no flexibility to see which parts still work even if the whole idea/plan didn't.

Mental Filtering. You dwell on negatives which distort your view of a situation.

Converting positives into negatives. You insist that positives don't count and minimize your achievements.

Jumping to negative conclusions. You don't use all the evidence to weigh a decision but allow the negatives to override your process.

Mistaking feelings for facts. You confuse what you feel or what you believe with facts.

Negative self-talk. You use language in your mind that devalues yourself. This includes self-deprecating  humor, harsh criticism, judgments or labels. 








Free self-esteem exercise for you to try at home.

Self-Esteem Help:

 One Exercise Sure to Make You Feel Better about Yourself. By Dr. Jennice Vilhauer

  • Keep a pad of paper next to your bed and every night before you go to sleep, write down three things you liked about yourself that day.
  • In the morning, read the list before you get out of bed.
  • Do this everyday for 30 days.

These don’t have to be big things, like I am a kind person; they can be simple, such as I like that I held the door for my co-worker, or I like that I didn’t lose my temper in traffic today, or I like that I am making the effort to try this exercise even if I’m not sure it will work.


The following article is a helpful resource for building self-esteem.

1. Low Self-Esteem: What Does it Mean to Lack Self-Esteem? https://www.psychalive.org/low-self-esteem/